Blessing, a Nigerian, and Jake, an American, open up about their extraordinary journey to marriage, defying cultural expectations and family resistance.
In an interview with Femi Lazarus’ YouTube show Stories on Sunday, the couple spoke about how they got married in Nigeria without their families present and overcame obstacles with unwavering faith. Photo: Instagram (femilazarus1)
Blessing’s childhood was traumatic and she lived under the strict and harsh care of her stepmother.
She described her upbringing as a time of fear and oppression.
“I grew up in a very tough environment,” she says.
“My father doesn’t laugh. He doesn’t say, ‘How are you doing?’ We pretend to be asleep because when he comes back from work, just your presence will be a big deal. ”
Ms Blessing told of a particularly traumatic incident when, at the age of five, she was beaten so severely by her stepmother that she was left unconscious for three days.
“She hit me and smashed my head against the wall…When I woke up, I was in the hospital on oxygen,” she recalled.
This experience left a permanent mark on her forehead, becoming a constant reminder of her difficult past.
Jake, a missionary at the time, met Blessing through a Christian discipleship program.
Even though he had never been attracted to black women before, he immediately felt a strong conviction.
“When I first saw my wife on Instagram, I knew it was her,” he said, adding that he had never messaged a woman online before.
Their relationship developed over five months of long-distance communication, primarily through phone calls and video chats, during which they discussed their faith and life experiences.
When the couple announced their wedding plans, they faced significant opposition from Blessing’s family.
Her relatives expressed doubts and concerns about Jake’s intentions, and some even spread rumors.
“My mother started telling people that I was going to marry an organ harvester and that I was coming to Nigeria to harvest organs,” Blessing said.
She recalled her brother warning her not to let Jake visit Nigeria for fear he would be kidnapped.
“There was so much opposition from all walks of life that I felt like I was under attack,” she said.
The situation escalated further and Blessing began to get sick frequently, affecting his health.
Jake also faced the challenge of preserving traditional Nigerian customs and ultimately decided not to perform traditional ceremonies.
“The Lord told us we shouldn’t have a traditional wedding,” Blessing explains, adding that Jake was hesitant to pursue a custom that he felt God had led him not to follow. He pointed out.
In the end, they opted for a small church ceremony with less than 20 guests, instead of having a reception.
“We planned the wedding without ever meeting… Two weeks after he came to Nigeria, we got married.”
She further explained: “We just attended court and church. The Lord was telling us we shouldn’t have a traditional wedding.”
“I knew this was a confirmation from God,” she said, recalling how the decision aligned with God’s messages she received about keeping things simple.
Jake paid the bride price to Blessing’s mother rather than his estranged father, with whom Blessing had not had contact in over a decade.
“I had no intention of paying a bride price to a father who didn’t take care of his daughter for 13 years,” Jake explained.
Following the advice of a marriage counselor, the couple replaced traditional financial exchanges with gifts.
Despite the difficulties, Blessing and Jake both believe that their union is part of a greater purpose.
Reflecting on their journey, Blessing said: This marriage is not just about us. That’s the purpose. ”
Jake shared similar sentiments, sharing how he experienced divine visions and confirmation about their relationship.
“The Lord asked me, ‘Can I trust my daughter?’ It was the most terrifying experience of my life,” he recalled.
For Blessing, the journey was a healing one.
“Growing up, I always felt like no one loved me. I felt like I was the problem,” she admitted. “But God’s love and my husband’s love have been truly amazing to me.”
As the couple continues their new lives in Abuja, they remain confident in their mission and God’s purpose for bringing them together.