My husband and I met at the gym and celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary this year. Fitness is still a major part of our relationship and creates common interests. That common interest has made us a stronger couple and better parents to our two children. .
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Nearly 15 years ago, I met my husband in gym class. We both worked in London and attended early morning classes before work. After a few limited conversations at spin and circuit classes, my husband, Julian, asked me out on a date, and we started dating.
At the time, I had no idea that our shared interest in exercise would become important to our relationship. Yes, it was an unusual story to tell people when asked how we met, but I didn’t think it was more important than that.
However, as we approach our 13th year of marriage, I honestly believe that our commitment to fitness and exercise is a fundamental element of our relationship. Common interests allow us to understand each other and respect each other’s points of view and preferences.
Our love for fitness makes us a stronger couple
Dipti Tate, a relationship psychotherapist, told me that couples should share interests and enjoy hobbies together.
“Our brains release oxytocin, often called the ‘bonding hormone,’ when we experience pleasure or connection with others,” Tate says. “Participating in mutual activities activates this release, deepening emotional intimacy and strengthening trust.”
I can definitely see that in my relationship. Julian and I are both active, so I think we have a relationship where we can support each other. If we don’t exercise for a few days, even on holidays, we both get a little irritable and restless. So if one of us says we need an hour to train, the other completely understands.
Psychotherapist Karen Hartley agreed. she said to me: “By sharing values, couples can build trust and communication skills. When you ask for help and support with a hobby, you teach yourself to rely on your partner in other areas of your life. ”
In addition to building trusting relationships, our love of exercise has also brought us new and unique experiences. We took HIIT classes in St. Lucia and Turkey, completed various cross-country runs, and participated in sponsored cycling events. All these experiences give us memories and make us laugh when we remember them.
“Shared interests often strengthen relationships because they reveal a lot about your partner and add extra fun and excitement to the relationship,” says Hartley.
Fitness has also made us better parents
My partner and I have a unique parenting approach because we understand each other’s need for exercise. We trust each other as a team.
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When one person has to leave to go for a run or attend an exercise class, the other person takes on childcare duties. We don’t resent the other person taking time off because we appreciate the need to rest and de-stress. We believe that the other person really needs that training.
This means that children almost always have a satisfied present.
This passion for athletics also applies to our children. We have two boys, an 11 year old and an almost 10 year old. Both are very active. They’ll probably be this way whether we’re parents or not, but I think our lifestyle has a positive effect on them.
For example, it’s normal for one of us to exercise first thing in the morning, so we know we value exercise.
We hope our approach to physical health and exercise shows children the benefits of regular exercise.
Fitness has always been a part of our lives
As we get older and spend more time together, working out becomes less physically challenging and more of an activity that keeps us moving.
Tait says this can only be a positive thing, saying, “When couples invest time in common hobbies, they not only enjoy each other’s company, they strengthen their neurological and emotional bonds and strengthen their relationship.” It becomes resilient, fulfilling and long-lasting.”
Hartley built on this idea of resilience by explaining that “relationships based on shared values tend to have greater long-term satisfaction and success.”
Our marriage isn’t perfect, but I’m grateful that we share a passion for fitness. It has made us stronger in many ways.